StarWatch: Outlet's In

I’m Callie C. This is StarWatch. But who cares?!? The only thing that matters to me and probably you too as soon as I tell you, is this juicy junket that is literally just this minute burning off the comms. You’re hearing it here first, watchers: Bo Lynn and Julie Marks as of 15:03 SET have had their baby! Congrats to the happy family!

This is my slam, people. This must be what it would feel like if I had a baby of my own. Like all of you, I have been following this pregnancy closely for what has seemed like forever, but was probably closer to nine months. The highs! The lows! The drama! That slip on the ice patch at the New York Lantern Ball, that whole drell juice incident and who is ever going to forget those weird stretch fur jodhpurs. Seriously. Remember those?

Well, put all of that behind you, because the ride is finally over, folks, and the ’verse is now the proud recipient of a brand new Baby BoJu. Tips are still flooding in about this bouncing bundle of joy, no pictures yet, but word is that she’s healthy, already on her way to signing a modeling contract, and that they have decided to go with the name Rosé … or Salute … or even Talliwager. Come on you tipsters, make up your minds! If you’re just going to send in random names, why not go with the prettiest name ever created and say the lucky babe is going to be called Callie. Which, I might add, is a suggestion I’ve already taken the liberty to comm directly to the new parents themselves.

For those of you who are frantically doing the math out there from today’s date, yes, nine months ago was when Julie was on tour with Voice On High and Bo was on the other side of the Empire filming Death First. Now this may appear at first to lend some credence to all those rumors that were flying around about Julie having a torrid affair with Niko during the tour. Especially when it seemed like Niko forgot how to play ‘Linger Longer,’ a song V.O.H has been performing for 5 years, simply because Julie came on stage to sing with them. The excuses of “having a late night” didn’t do anything to help dodge that flaming ball of awkward.

But as exciting as it is to speculate whether the baby is going to have Niko’s hazel eyes or Bo’s blue, I think that it’s vital that we celeb devotees, or celebotees — Oooo. I like that. Winnie, make a note to make some celebotee tees — So, like I was saying, we celebotees, t-shirts pending, have to make sure that as much as we want to get the scoop that we respect some boundaries. Since the announce I have been seeing the calls for people to acquire DNA scans of the newborn to confirm the rumors one way or another, and this is not cool. I want to ask everyone out there to please, please not do that. There are limits. This is a baby.

Speaking of, let’s move on from the birth of a Human to the birth of possibly a new fashion trend. Without any more ado, Nisco Hobbins! Get your well-dressed butt out here. I am pleased as always to welcome our resident fashion expert back to the show.

Nisco Hobbins: And as always, Calcee, you are lucky to have me.

I love it when you pull the claws out! Let’s start with the usual, Nisco, please put me out of my misery and tell me who you are wearing. It is absolutely crystal. And why do I feel like I want to salute you?

Nisco Hobbins: That would be my new jacket, Calcee. It is the center objet d’art from Derion’s new Gambit collection. Its faceted angles and contoured lines are meant to be reminiscent of a Naval war fleet in flight. Believe it or not, but all the materials are sourced from actual battle sites.

What?!?

Nisco Hobbins: Seriously. The spun-metal is completely made from spent cartridges and all the accent beading is made from real rubble. To have history turned into fashion like this is just groundbreaking.

Stunning. A statement piece in so many ways.

Nisco Hobbins: Show support and all that.

Totally. Now, Nisco, when I got the comm about you coming by, I read the words but my mind couldn’t comprehend them. You’re here to talk about Casaba Outlet?

Nisco Hobbins: Totally.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a billion StarWatchers suddenly spitting out their drinks all at once. Pray tell, my dear Nisco, why are we talking about Casaba Outlet? It’s not for their latest two-for-one deal, is it?

Nisco Hobbins: I know. I know. Casaba Outlet. Regular clothes for regular people or whatever. Great for not being naked, not much use for anything else. But it seems they want to change that ’cause they’re taking a real stab at making themselves relevant in the world of fashion in sort of an interesting way. It’s all part of their new “Our Clothes, Your Look” campaign.

Okay. Spill.

Nisco Hobbins: A lot of times these companies try to hire a fashion designer to do a special line and you just end up with watered down blah that your grandmother gives to you as a gift on Citizen Day.

I still remember when Olsen Hendrick did that line of “everyday” dresses for Looks4Life. On what day would you ever wear any of those?

Nisco Hobbins: Definitely up there on 30th century tragedies. That’s why I was quite pleased to hear Casaba has gone a completely different route and hired celebrity stylists to start taking pieces from their normal selection of CityLights, Escar Limited, DMC, whatever, and using those to create looks worthy of wearing. They’ve got people like Den Linton who does styling for Asper Renon, Sash Aberdeen, Opal Nill, and Irkma Punjamal who has dressed everyone from your Bo Lynn to every member of Local Diction.

And they just take stuff off the rack? Like regular pants or whatever?

Nisco Hobbins: Exacts. Like a CityLights Rhodes jacket paired with some 78 pants from Escar. Normally a yawn, but it is kinda amazing what these clothes can become in the hands of a professional. Head to toe, they feel completely different. Accessories, how they hang, the hair. All of it comes together to create something pretty brill. The best part is that all the details are right there on the spec, so you can create it for yourself. I, for one, am actually thinking about hopping a shuttle and seeing what I can put together myself. The challenge of it is almost half the fun.

It’ll be quite the coup for Casaba if they can start drawing in the likes of Nisco Hobbins. Count me in.

All right, watchers. We need to take a quick pause and reset. Nisco, stay right there. All of you stay right there. StarWatch will be back in a flash.

Ich bin Callie C. Das ist StarWatch. Aber wen interessiert das?!?? Das Einzige, was für mich und wahrscheinlich auch für dich wichtig ist, sobald ich es dir sage, ist dieser saftige Junket, der buchstäblich gerade in dieser Minute die Kommunikation abbrennt. Ihr hört es hier zuerst, Beobachter: Bo Lynn und Julie Marks ab 15:03 Uhr SET haben ihr Baby bekommen! Herzlichen Glückwunsch an die glückliche Familie!

Das ist mein Slam, Leute. So muss es sich anfühlen, wenn ich selbst ein Baby hätte. Wie ihr alle habe auch ich diese Schwangerschaft seit jeher genau verfolgt, was für immer so aussah, aber wahrscheinlich näher an neun Monaten lag. Die Höhen! Die Tiefpunkte! Das Drama! Dieser Ausrutscher auf der Eisfläche beim New York Lantern Ball, dieser ganze Drell-Saft-Vorfall und wer wird jemals diese seltsamen Stretchfell-Reithosen vergessen. Im Ernst. Erinnerst du dich daran?

Nun, lasst das alles hinter euch, denn die Fahrt ist endlich vorbei, Leute, und der Vers ist jetzt der stolze Empfänger eines brandneuen Baby BoJu. Die Tipps überfluten immer noch dieses hüpfende Bündel von Freude, noch keine Bilder, aber es heißt, dass sie gesund ist, bereits auf dem Weg zum Abschluss eines Modelvertrages ist und dass sie sich entschieden haben, den Namen Rosé... oder Salute... oder sogar Talliwager zu wählen. Kommt schon, ihr Trinkgelder, entscheidet euch! Wenn Sie nur zufällige Namen schicken wollen, warum gehen Sie nicht mit dem schönsten Namen, der je erstellt wurde, und sagen Sie, dass das Glückskind Callie heißen wird. Was, wie ich hinzufügen möchte, ein Vorschlag ist, den ich mir bereits erlaubt habe, direkt mit den neuen Eltern selbst zu kommunizieren.

Für diejenigen von euch, die hektisch die Mathematik vom heutigen Datum an da draußen machen, ja, vor neun Monaten war Julie mit Voice On High auf Tour und Bo auf der anderen Seite des Imperiums, als sie Death First filmte. Nun mag dies zunächst erscheinen, um all den Gerüchten Glauben zu schenken, die herumflogen, dass Julie während der Tour eine heiße Affäre mit Niko hatte. Besonders, wenn es so aussah, als hätte Niko vergessen, wie man'Linger Longer' spielt, tritt ein Song von V.O.H. seit 5 Jahren auf, einfach weil Julie auf die Bühne kam, um mit ihnen zu singen. Die Ausreden "eine späte Nacht zu haben" taten nichts, um dem flammenden Ball des Unbeholfenen auszuweichen.

Aber so aufregend es auch ist, darüber zu spekulieren, ob das Baby Nikos haselnussbraune Augen oder Bo's blaue Augen haben wird, ich denke, dass es wichtig ist, dass wir Prominente, oder Promoten - Oooo. Das gefällt mir. Winnie, machen Sie eine Notiz, um ein paar celebotee T-Shirts zu machen - Also, wie ich schon sagte, wir celebotees, T-Shirts ausstehend, müssen sicherstellen, dass so viel wie wir wollen, um die Schaufel zu bekommen, dass wir einige Grenzen respektieren. Seit der Ankündigung habe ich die Aufrufe gesehen, dass Menschen DNA-Scans des Neugeborenen erwerben, um die Gerüchte auf die eine oder andere Weise zu bestätigen, und das ist nicht cool. Ich möchte alle da draußen bitten, das zu tun, bitte nicht. Es gibt Grenzen. Das ist ein Baby.

Apropos, lasst uns von der Geburt eines Menschen zur Geburt eines möglicherweise neuen Modetrends übergehen. Ohne weiteres, Nisco Hobbins! Schaff deinen gut gekleideten Hintern hier raus. Ich freue mich wie immer, unseren ansässigen Modeexperten wieder zur Messe begrüßen zu dürfen.

Nisco Hobbins: Und wie immer, Calcee, hast du Glück, mich zu haben.

Ich liebe es, wenn du die Krallen herausziehst! Beginnen wir mit dem Üblichen, Nisco, bitte erlöse mich von meinem Elend und sag mir, wen du trägst. Es ist absolut kristallklar. Und warum habe ich das Gefühl, dass ich dich grüßen will?

Nisco Hobbins: Das wäre meine neue Jacke, Calcee. Es ist das zentrale Kunstobjekt aus Derions neuer Gambit-Kollektion. Seine facettierten Winkel und konturierten Linien sollen an eine flugfähige Marinekriegsflotte erinnern. Ob Sie es glauben oder nicht, aber alle Materialien stammen von echten Kampfstätten.

Was?!??

Nisco Hobbins: Im Ernst. Das Spinnmetall ist komplett aus gebrauchten Kartuschen gefertigt und alle Akzentperlen sind aus echtem Schutt gefertigt. Es ist einfach bahnbrechend, dass Geschichte so in Mode verwandelt wird.

Atemberaubend. Ein Statement-Stück in vielerlei Hinsicht.

Nisco Hobbins: Zeige Unterstützung und all das.

Auf jeden Fall. Nun, Nisco, als ich die Nachricht bekam, dass du vorbeikommst, las ich die Worte, aber mein Verstand konnte sie nicht verstehen. Du bist hier, um über Casaba Outlet zu reden?

Nisco Hobbins: Auf jeden Fall.

Hast du das gehört? Das war der Klang einer Milliarde StarWatchers, die plötzlich ihre Getränke auf einmal ausspuckten. Bitte sagen Sie, meine liebe Nisco, warum sprechen wir über Casaba Outlet? Es geht nicht um ihren letzten Zwei-zu-Eins-Deal, oder?

Nisco Hobbins: Ich weiß. Ich weiß. Casaba Outlet. Normale Kleidung für normale Leute oder was auch immer. Großartig, um nicht nackt zu sein, nicht viel Nutzen für etwas anderes. Aber es scheint, dass sie das ändern wollen, denn sie nehmen einen echten Stich, um sich in der Welt der Mode auf eine interessante Art und Weise relevant zu machen. Das alles ist Teil der neuen Kampagne "Our Clothes, Your Look".

Okay. Spuck's aus.

Nisco Hobbins: Viele Male versuchen diese Unternehmen, einen Modedesigner einzustellen, um eine spezielle Linie zu machen, und Sie enden einfach mit verwässertem Blau, das Ihre Großmutter Ihnen am Bürgertag schenkt.

Ich erinnere mich noch daran, wie Olsen Hendrick diese Linie von "Alltagskleidern" für Looks4Life entworfen hat. An welchem Tag würdest du jemals so etwas tragen?

Nisco Hobbins: Definitiv da oben bei Tragödien aus dem 30. Jahrhundert. Deshalb habe ich mich sehr gefreut zu hören, dass Casaba einen ganz anderen Weg gegangen ist und berühmte Stylisten angeheuert hat, um Stücke aus ihrer normalen Auswahl an CityLights, Escar Limited, DMC, was auch immer, zu nehmen und diese zu verwenden, um ein attraktives Aussehen zu kreieren. Sie haben Leute wie Den Linton, der für Asper Renon, Sash Aberdeen, Opal Nill und Irkma Punjamal stylt, der alle von deinem Bo Lynn bis zu jedem Mitglied von Local Diction gekleidet hat.

Und sie nehmen einfach Sachen von der Stange? Wie normale Hosen oder was auch immer?

Nisco Hobbins: Er reagiert. Wie eine CityLights Rhodes Jacke gepaart mit etwa 78 Hosen von Escar. Normalerweise ein Gähnen, aber es ist irgendwie erstaunlich, was diese Kleidung in den Händen eines Profis werden kann. Von Kopf bis Fuß fühlen sie sich völlig anders an. Accessoires, wie sie hängen, die Haare. Alles vereint sich, um etwas ziemlich Brillantes zu schaffen. Das Beste daran ist, dass alle Details direkt auf der Spezifikation stehen, so dass Sie sie selbst erstellen können. Ich zum Beispiel denke eigentlich daran, in ein Shuttle zu steigen und zu sehen, was ich selbst zusammenstellen kann. Die Herausforderung daran ist fast die Hälfte des Spaßes.

Es wird ein ziemlicher Coup für Casaba sein, wenn sie anfangen können, solche wie Nisco Hobbins zu zeichnen. Ich bin dabei.

In Ordnung, Beobachter. Wir müssen eine kurze Pause einlegen und uns zurücksetzen. Nisco, bleib genau da stehen. Ihr alle bleibt hier. StarWatch ist im Handumdrehen wieder da.

I’m Callie C. This is StarWatch. But who cares?!? The only thing that matters to me and probably you too as soon as I tell you, is this juicy junket that is literally just this minute burning off the comms. You’re hearing it here first, watchers: Bo Lynn and Julie Marks as of 15:03 SET have had their baby! Congrats to the happy family!

This is my slam, people. This must be what it would feel like if I had a baby of my own. Like all of you, I have been following this pregnancy closely for what has seemed like forever, but was probably closer to nine months. The highs! The lows! The drama! That slip on the ice patch at the New York Lantern Ball, that whole drell juice incident and who is ever going to forget those weird stretch fur jodhpurs. Seriously. Remember those?

Well, put all of that behind you, because the ride is finally over, folks, and the ’verse is now the proud recipient of a brand new Baby BoJu. Tips are still flooding in about this bouncing bundle of joy, no pictures yet, but word is that she’s healthy, already on her way to signing a modeling contract, and that they have decided to go with the name Rosé … or Salute … or even Talliwager. Come on you tipsters, make up your minds! If you’re just going to send in random names, why not go with the prettiest name ever created and say the lucky babe is going to be called Callie. Which, I might add, is a suggestion I’ve already taken the liberty to comm directly to the new parents themselves.

For those of you who are frantically doing the math out there from today’s date, yes, nine months ago was when Julie was on tour with Voice On High and Bo was on the other side of the Empire filming Death First. Now this may appear at first to lend some credence to all those rumors that were flying around about Julie having a torrid affair with Niko during the tour. Especially when it seemed like Niko forgot how to play ‘Linger Longer,’ a song V.O.H has been performing for 5 years, simply because Julie came on stage to sing with them. The excuses of “having a late night” didn’t do anything to help dodge that flaming ball of awkward.

But as exciting as it is to speculate whether the baby is going to have Niko’s hazel eyes or Bo’s blue, I think that it’s vital that we celeb devotees, or celebotees — Oooo. I like that. Winnie, make a note to make some celebotee tees — So, like I was saying, we celebotees, t-shirts pending, have to make sure that as much as we want to get the scoop that we respect some boundaries. Since the announce I have been seeing the calls for people to acquire DNA scans of the newborn to confirm the rumors one way or another, and this is not cool. I want to ask everyone out there to please, please not do that. There are limits. This is a baby.

Speaking of, let’s move on from the birth of a Human to the birth of possibly a new fashion trend. Without any more ado, Nisco Hobbins! Get your well-dressed butt out here. I am pleased as always to welcome our resident fashion expert back to the show.

Nisco Hobbins: And as always, Calcee, you are lucky to have me.

I love it when you pull the claws out! Let’s start with the usual, Nisco, please put me out of my misery and tell me who you are wearing. It is absolutely crystal. And why do I feel like I want to salute you?

Nisco Hobbins: That would be my new jacket, Calcee. It is the center objet d’art from Derion’s new Gambit collection. Its faceted angles and contoured lines are meant to be reminiscent of a Naval war fleet in flight. Believe it or not, but all the materials are sourced from actual battle sites.

What?!?

Nisco Hobbins: Seriously. The spun-metal is completely made from spent cartridges and all the accent beading is made from real rubble. To have history turned into fashion like this is just groundbreaking.

Stunning. A statement piece in so many ways.

Nisco Hobbins: Show support and all that.

Totally. Now, Nisco, when I got the comm about you coming by, I read the words but my mind couldn’t comprehend them. You’re here to talk about Casaba Outlet?

Nisco Hobbins: Totally.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a billion StarWatchers suddenly spitting out their drinks all at once. Pray tell, my dear Nisco, why are we talking about Casaba Outlet? It’s not for their latest two-for-one deal, is it?

Nisco Hobbins: I know. I know. Casaba Outlet. Regular clothes for regular people or whatever. Great for not being naked, not much use for anything else. But it seems they want to change that ’cause they’re taking a real stab at making themselves relevant in the world of fashion in sort of an interesting way. It’s all part of their new “Our Clothes, Your Look” campaign.

Okay. Spill.

Nisco Hobbins: A lot of times these companies try to hire a fashion designer to do a special line and you just end up with watered down blah that your grandmother gives to you as a gift on Citizen Day.

I still remember when Olsen Hendrick did that line of “everyday” dresses for Looks4Life. On what day would you ever wear any of those?

Nisco Hobbins: Definitely up there on 30th century tragedies. That’s why I was quite pleased to hear Casaba has gone a completely different route and hired celebrity stylists to start taking pieces from their normal selection of CityLights, Escar Limited, DMC, whatever, and using those to create looks worthy of wearing. They’ve got people like Den Linton who does styling for Asper Renon, Sash Aberdeen, Opal Nill, and Irkma Punjamal who has dressed everyone from your Bo Lynn to every member of Local Diction.

And they just take stuff off the rack? Like regular pants or whatever?

Nisco Hobbins: Exacts. Like a CityLights Rhodes jacket paired with some 78 pants from Escar. Normally a yawn, but it is kinda amazing what these clothes can become in the hands of a professional. Head to toe, they feel completely different. Accessories, how they hang, the hair. All of it comes together to create something pretty brill. The best part is that all the details are right there on the spec, so you can create it for yourself. I, for one, am actually thinking about hopping a shuttle and seeing what I can put together myself. The challenge of it is almost half the fun.

It’ll be quite the coup for Casaba if they can start drawing in the likes of Nisco Hobbins. Count me in.

All right, watchers. We need to take a quick pause and reset. Nisco, stay right there. All of you stay right there. StarWatch will be back in a flash.